July 2025

For some time now, I’ve had things I wanted to say. Unfortunately for me, many of the things I most wanted to say didn’t fit into natural everyday conversation. It’s just not normal, I’ve found, to interject with a two minute monologue, and before long people will interrupt or stop paying attention. And, more fundamentally, I simply am not capable of saying the things I want, the way I want them, in real time.

So I wrote. I didn’t put up a blog or anything – I wasn’t, like, serious about writing, you know? – but simply wrote long text messages in various friend chat groups I was in. This still wasn’t the perfect solution. It felt weird to hijack a normal chat group and turn it into your notebook, and chat groups died and new ones sprung with different people and atmospheres. At times I felt like I had no place where I could write casually, which made me unsatisfied.

One day I learned that Telegram allows you to create channels, where only the channel maintainer can comment. I set up such a channel, told my friends that this is where I’m going to write, and so I did. This solution worked extremely well, as all my negative emotions about breaching social norms were removed: people knew what the channel was about, and if they didn’t like it, they could just leave. (No one did, but the point is that they could.)

I wrote a good bunch there. After writing my twentieth banger, I thought: what a shame that no one outside of this channel can see these. I considered the idea of putting my texts out in the public. And though some of my friends were supportive, I hesitated. My texts weren’t polished. They were almost always written in one go on an evening when I felt like ranting writing. Both my Finnish and English teachers would be ashamed of my grammar. The texts were not at the level where you could publish them as Blog Posts, and I wasn’t looking forward to all the stress putting them out would cause.

Eventually I got tired of being so dramatic about it, and thought: “You know what, maybe I’ll just put them up on my website, but write a long disclaimer at the top where I explain how all this is really casual, I haven’t bothered to polish this, continue at your own risk, you can find my more formal writing elsewhere.”

That’s what I did and that’s what this is.

Some of the content is in English. Most is in colloquial Finnish. I defaulted to my native language, but I write differently in different languages, so I sometimes deliberately chose English – I couldn’t say those things in Finnish while sounding like me to myself.

What you see is essentially what I have originally written, a relatively unobstructed viewpoint to how I view things.